A childhood dream

In my childhood I used to have this recurring dream about running away and hiding. 

I would be somewhere in the neighbourhood after sunset during the summer. There would be some young adult male around that I was never able to identify. I was then running, looking for a shelter and just trying to get away from this guy. there would be places I hadn't noticed before in the neighbourhood, such as a pit that looked familiar but didn't belong there. I lived in the countryside in my childhood so there would be no people around and it'd be all forests and fields with some roads.

After the running away part I would always get home but looking for the shelter part would continue and I felt panicky and terrified. something bad was going to happen if the guy caught me. I just had to find a spot to hide in. There was an urge. I would eventually get to some hole or a closet and then just had to hope that my mom would keep the guy away

And that's when it always ended.

Hiatus

I won't be able to keep this blog up because

1. Focus: it's not something that I really need right now, I need to focus to achieve what I want to achieve
2. Work: it takes a lot of work for me to express my thoughts
3. Fun: it's not as fun as it should be

Maybe later. I know it's a good idea, but not good enough yet.

Become a co-author

Because of my writer's block (see the previous post) I'd like you to test your skills in writing and in dream interpretation. It's relatively simple. Write about your dream and I'll post it in my blog. Anonymously or with your name/alias. Let's see what happens.

How high is the threshold for you?

?

I've had a crapload of dreams I could've posted here since last but the anxiety that takes over me when I think about writing is unbearable for me to overcome. Perhaps I should write something, a blog, a novel, or the like about the times I face anxiety? The topic is just as interesting as dreams but I doubt I'd be any more prolific.

By the way: I received a gift card to promote my blog on google ads. It's interesting to test virtual marketing.

Lost in Helsinki

I was sweaty and not wearing my shirt when I woke up at 2:44PM in a tram #8 with no one else in it other than me, the driver and my huge pile of luggage. It’s the second day of April but it feels like summer here in Helsinki. How did I sleep that late? How is it possible, how come nobody woke me up and why am I not wearing my shirt?

I’m completely okay to land topless on the street, but I do feel embarrassed as I almost forget half of my luggage in the tram: my shirt, satchel and big backpack. I’ve been travelling; where, I don’t know. An old lady keeps looking at me wondering what I’m up to, but the tram driver doesn’t seem to mind.

The tram starts moving backwards at the same time as I empty my belongings from it and start walking to the other side of the street. I have absolutely no clue where I am and Helsinki seems to have shifted shape overnight, but since I came from one direction, the other direction must take me home…

I get my shirt back on while collecting my memories as of what had happened the night before: I remember that I was going to get off at my tram stop at 1AM but figure that being half-asleep I had managed to fall asleep with mere 10 meters left of my journey. It seems I had drunk slightly too much at a local bar, but I can’t seem to remember what had lead me to drinking alone amongst some middle-aged men in their beards and filthy jackets. Go figure. I did in the end offer a glass of whiskey to some lucky fellow as I had felt I had had enough.

I get on a tram, or a bus, either way. My trip home begins --- I am in a lake. The public transportation in Helsinki has taken on new forms of travel as me and my co-commuters bathe forwards on a boat made of reed or some other green-leaved plant. How the boat is afloat and how it moves on a track puzzle me. I don’t know the answer to the first question and don’t even care about it as that’s the way it is but there must be some tracks underneath the water. The boat floats sideways as the sides of the boat start to sip in some water. Worrying! At least I’m secure so far.

We float on the water at a fast speed. Wow, it feels so fast, like I’ve never done this before, I had no idea this tram track went over a lake. Suddenly the passengers start to stand up one by one as it seems that the boat is leaking too much water. It’s actually because of me and my luggage which weights too much, never mind the overweight middle-aged lady in the middle of the boat holding the reed boat up to her sides. Nooo! My laptop bag is in my legs and it’s soaked! I don’t want my laptop to get broken because of getting wet again! (But I never had a laptop before?) --- I wanted to go home but I’ve arrived at the other end of the tram track in Ruoholahti with the subway line way further than I had remembered. It could take me home.

Okay, so the map of the station is a mess. Again. There are underground passages that take you to the subway. Outdoors there is very little. Besides, the weather is snowy and cold again so you wouldn’t even want to get out. --- I’m in a candy shop with my luggage and my mom is here. I’ve been here before; it’s the tax-free shop at the airport when you go to Cologne! (No it’s not?) The candies are cheap but there are also sections with double the price as they are imported goods from some quality factory and the cheap ones are, well, some cheap stuff.

Okay, I start doing something with my luggage. It looks like I’m carrying a lot of bottles with me. Why? I start making room for some candies to take with me from the shop, where there’s actually no one else. We are alone, my mom and I. No shopkeepers or anyone. My mom has opened a bottle of sparkling wine which I was carrying with me. Don’t take my stuff without my permission! I rummage through my luggage and find a lot of garbage of whose purpose I’m not sure of. There is a tie made of wool, and it looks like I’ve become very fond of ties otherwise too. --- I didn’t get home: I wake up.